When should I tell someone I’m dating that I have epilepsy?
There’s no perfect moment — it really depends on the situation and how comfortable you feel. Dating can already be awkward, and having a health condition can make it feel even trickier. Telling someone you have seizures might feel scary, but it doesn’t have to be a huge deal.
It’s totally OK to wait until you’ve built some trust and feel safe with the person. But it’s also helpful to talk about it before things get serious, especially if you’re worried about having a seizure around them. Most people handle the news better than you might expect, and if they genuinely care about you, they’ll want to understand and support you.
How should the first conversation go?
Keep it simple. You don’t need to give a long explanation – just the basics of what epilepsy is for you and what someone should do if you have a seizure. People usually feel more confident when they know what to expect.
You can talk about epilepsy in whatever way feels right for you. Being calm and matter‑of‑fact often helps the other person feel calm too. They might ask questions straight away, or they might come back to it later once they’ve had time to think. Either way is normal.
When you’re comfortable talking about your seizures, it helps others feel more comfortable too. Most people are curious and want to understand, and real friends won’t judge you for it.
What if my date doesn’t handle the news well?
Sometimes people don’t react well – not because of you, but because they don’t understand epilepsy or feel unsure or fearful about what to do in an emergency. You can help by explaining what living with epilepsy is actually like and that it doesn’t stop you from having a normal, full life.
If someone can’t cope with the idea of epilepsy, that’s about their limitations, not yours. The right people will want to learn and support you.
What about intimacy?
By your late teens, relationships can become more serious, and it’s normal to have questions about intimacy. Young people with epilepsy can absolutely have healthy, normal intimate relationships. Being open with your partner about your epilepsy can help build trust, confidence, and support
Click on the play button to hear Libby talk about her experience of telling her new partner she had epilepsy.
If you want more information click on the videos to see:
Dr Maria Kangas gives a talk about telling your new partner you have epilepsy.
Teenagers discuss what it’s like to be in a relationship when you have epilepsy.
