When starting a new relationship, choosing the time to disclose your epilepsy is never easy. Some people chose to tell immediately, and others wait until they can see a future with the person. When you chose to tell is a personal choice. Some people will understand, others may not.
Common fears include:
- How someone will respond
- Being a burden on family and friends
- May not find a potential partner
- Being judged or rejected
- Having a seizure in public
It’s hard for people who have not encountered epilepsy to understand everything it encompasses. Explaining it to them may need to happen over time. Keep it simple at first then elaborate as time goes by or if necessary (e.g. you have a headache because of a seizure earlier, or you can’t go to the disco because flashing lights are a trigger for you, or symptoms that fluctuate like tiredness).
Things change all the time for some people, so the learning continues.
Some things to remember:
- Educate people close to you about epilepsy and seizures and other aspects that affect you. This means you should have a good understanding of epilepsy yourself.
- Have an open and honest communication style. Don’t be confronting, just explain it simply and clearly. Elaborate over time if necessary.
- Remember that your partner will also live with your epilepsy as well, so they need to be familiar and understand what is going on. Allow some time for them to talk about their feelings as well.
- Consider how the other person may be feeling as well, but if someone reacts negatively to your epilepsy disclosure, don’t take it personally. Its their problem, not yours
- If you have trouble discussing things openly, perhaps provide some written information as well
- Seek informal support when needed – ask others for help.
Further information
Epilepsy Essentials – online course (30 minutes)
What you wish people knew about epilepsy
How to keep your relationship solid during a major illness
